Jenna | on romanticizing

This foggy beach morning felt like a movie set. It made me think about the pressure to “romanticize your life” and “feel like the main character.” Sometimes i like feeling like an extra. Sometimes it’s nourishing to be in the background.

Aishwarya | on humility

when uncle iroh said pride is not the opposite of shame, but it's source. true humility is the only antidote to shame

Alyson | on detachment

“What you believe to be true and already yours is what you will get!” Detaching and manifestation is difficult and intangible but this statement made things seem easier for me. I am an anxious person but sometimes we really have to push ourselves to take on that dgaf mindset

Amber | on perception

Some call it angel numbers, others call it recency bias. Either way, they are indicators that your brain and heart (!) are picking up on a pattern. WE get to decide whether the patterns we lean into support or destroy us.

Other nibbles:

Pure Colour — okay late to this book, buttttt what is there to say outside of, woah. Maybe genius?

We talked about this A LOT in the Blasé GC this week:

Vibes:

Kiss kiss!

Thank you for all the guys who submitted. God gives his toughest battles to his bravest soldiers.

Without further adoooooo.

It’s Giving….

• Not quite sure what you do for a living; you seem comfortable in yourself

• Simple, chill, nonchalant (in a good way)

• I thought we were in the 5 inch inseam era…

• Hard to wear a plain white tee and make it look intentional - nice

• Clean your sneakers

It’s Giving…

• Graphic designer or something boring but you use fashion as a means of expression

• All Caps Studio…I SEEEE YOU!

• Loafers are cute - wouldn’t have thought to pair them this way.

• It's giving I'm hot and I know it

• This is how men should be accessorizing

It’s Giving…

• Grew up on Long Island

• My dad's lawyers will be in touch

• Likely likes light beer

• Watches football on Sundays

• Still shops at Zara and thinks that's cool

• Also clean your sneakers

It’s Giving…

• Likely a data engineer

• Pretty unassuming, nothing much to say

• What is UP with the dirty shoes???

It’s Giving

• I wear ABC pants as dress pants

• Why did you leave SF?

• Fanny packs... lets ban them again please

• It's giving creative director

• You already know what we’re going to say about the footwear

It’s Giving…

• Mysterious

• Would look at you and be intrigued on the subway

• Loving the square-toed boots

• #rings

• Are you going to berghain?

It’s Giving…

• Clean boy vibes

• Leather bag pairing, nice

• Did we read a @dieworkwear thread and try to replicate

• Nice job keeping the shoes clean(er)

Andddd, that’s a wrap. Let us know your thoughts below.

P.S. We’re taking on women’s fashion in the near future. DM us on IG @blaseraire if and when topics strike you want us to cover.

Kiss kiss.

• an open heart

• 1 hr vitamin D minimum/day

• smiling at strangers

• day long coffee hangs

• leaving love notes to the world

What’d we miss?

Alyson | found God in a jazz club

Last night, I went to jazz night at a bar in Copenhagen and it was truly the best live jazz I’ve ever experienced. This was mainly due to the four-piece’s incorporation of the Chinese instrument called the guzheng. The musician who played is one of the only guzheng improvisers in the world. It lent such a perfect sound to the rest of the jazz and they truly rocked out. Can’t wait to explore more content of this instrument.

Aishwarya | childhood dreams

i want to be fran lebowitz when i grow up (full video here)

Mivin | wisdom walks

spent some time w a new friend who reminded me that intelligence and wisdom was not about size.

Ambi | dinner party would suffice

I don’t smoke anymore but imagine Mary Oliver smoking Bob Marley’s mary J…location chosen by Bourdain.

Other tingzzzzz

Something was in the air, Alyson and Ambi got tattoos on the same day across the world:

Side note from Ambi:

I have 8 tattoos, and this was by far the most special experience. Accompanied by a tea ceremony and a beautiful convo straddling philosophy and the quantum, the insanely talented @ramlozd quite literally transmuted this for me. Check it out here, captured by @openyoureyesfilm:

ramlozd

A post shared by @ramlozd

Spanish reggae is unlocking new levels of joy:

Will Sex in the City ever get old?

We want to bring the community together! Since we’re all global now, we’re contemplating a few ways this could look.. what do ya want?

Kiss kiss!

Jenna | in support of the radio

This weekend, I was back in my hometown and drove around listening to the radio station I loved growing up. There’s something so beautifully naive about the radio—not knowing what song will come on next, not being able to look it up (pre-Shazam days), just vibing and enjoying whatever comes your way. I found myself driving to a friend’s old house completely by memory, belting along to “You Found Me” by The Fray, and feeling that feeling of “home” so viscerally, it was like I was coming home to myself, too.

Alyson | sol de janeiro supremacy

I’m all for reclaiming girlhood, even if it’s in the form of these body sprays that remind me of the middle school gym locker room right before the bell rang, PINK body spray percolating in the air. Kinda obsessed with 59..

Amber | romanticization as a guide

This clip from Anthony Bourdain Parts Unknown S04 E08 — visit in Port Antonio, Jamaica. Everything we desire starts with believing that said reality is true. <3

Aishwarya | everything is life

hola amigos,

greetings from bogotá! i am in colombia for two weeks in an intense summer school with the coolest people doing the most world changing research. i am feeling inspired, overwhelmed, a bit out of my depth, and at the moment, mostly exhausted. 

this experience is fiercely epistemological. i have been here for two days and i have already learned a ton – i’m trying to be a sponge (and spot talent!). i’ve now had perspective shifts and value reframes from learning further about belief dynamics, agent based modeling, algorithms in disciplines across the board, statistical physics in social science analysis, and some insane discussion on power laws.  

it’s also fall / rainy weather here so the vibes are absolutely immaculate. i am just so glad to be out of new york city humidity for a couple of weeks. 

Mivin | rays & rhythm

4 strangers vibing to sitar sounds under the sun.

Other musings…

This is the full Parts Unknown Jamaica episode:

Once upon a time in CDMX w/ Alyson and Ambi:

Chicozapote (sapodilla)…if you can find this, savourrrr it! Mix between persimmon and kiwi with a hint of vanilla (in season in CDMX rn):

Kiss kiss. <3

A girl I've dated for five months sends a selfie. She looks beautiful. I want to tell her, but I'd admit she's beautiful if I did. She knows she is, and I've told her before. But I can't say it too much because I'd acknowledge a beauty I can't promise to appreciate forever.

I'm new to casual encounters. 

Before 25, I believed all love affairs led to marriage. I thought of rings before thinking about sex. I enjoyed progressing towards something—a flat, a flight, a future, together.

Situationships don't have a clear end other than that they will end. They are different from the period between learning about and dating someone or another way of referring to friends with benefits. Those relationships had clear boundaries.

Situationships, I've seen, are closer to nothingness. They are another label we think gives us strength over uncertainty.

One I can use to justify behaviors I shouldn't engage in, like rationing love–the minutes I hold her hands, how much I play with her ears, and the emojis I can and can't text. A label that reminds me that everything will end. And that, because it will end, it's okay to live together for three months in Paris with this person, but it's not okay to buy fruit at the local Sunday market because that's too intimate, too close to love.

As a nerd, I turned to Plato's Symposium and its seven speeches on love for answers. Phaedrus says love is a divine force that inspires heroic acts. Eryximachus said love is a sign of a healthy body and soul. Aristophanes didn't define love but says humans once rolled through life as spherical beings with two faces, four arms, and four legs. Our rebellion against the gods led to our split, leaving us forever yearning for our other half. I find consolation in Aristophanes' myth, imagining myself as one half of a whole, seeking completion. This ideal clashes with the transient nature of situationships, where love feels temporary and constrained.

In a situationship, the internal conflict arises from engaging in a form of love where you don't meet the minimum standards of what you consciously or subconsciously feel true love should entail. 

Imagine an artist painting a CEO's portrait to fund their dream project. They infuse every brushstroke with talent but can't access the full creativity they know they have, unlike when they paint purely for the love of art. Similarly, in my situationship, my affection is genuine but constrained. I'm not holding back; I simply don't feel compelled to go further. 

This shallow engagement with love is apparent in how little I know about her. I learned a few quirks. I learned she liked me. I learned she doesn't want me to learn more because I could become attached, and situationships thrive on detachment.

You know much more in a committed relationship. I knew my partner's love for Nutella ice cream and her request to monitor her indulgence without making her feel judged. I learned she disliked her left profile, insisted on drinking green juice immediately, believed in universal love, and wore only fur coats from Chinese factories. I had the freedom to fulfill an unquenchable desire to perpetually know more, show more. This intimacy stands in stark contrast to the shallow engagement of my situationship.

In a situationship, sharing information requires a delicate balance—enough to show care but not enough to foster deep feelings of love. Imagine I have great news to share on a Sunday. But if Sunday is her day to read The New Yorker, starting with the 'weekend essay' and finishing with 'what we're reading this week,' she might choose to stick to her routine instead of dropping everything to celebrate with me. Anything beyond this level of sharing risks losing the autonomy that many find appealing in a situationship. This delicate balance hinders the deep connection that defines my ideal of what a relationship should be.

The trouble with me, you might say, is that I'm doing situationships wrong. I signed up for a game I theoretically disliked for 25 years to see if I truly disliked it, and now I'm whining about its rules. People who aren't sold on situationships face this criticism. They can remain unloved, untouched, unspoken to, for weeks, and they can't complain because those are the game's rules. They signed up for this. We did, back when we labeled 'situationship' a relationship that shouldn't have happened. That, for one of the two parties, may have never happened.

Why are I, and many others, becoming or accepting half-lovers? I could blame dating apps' illusion of infinite potential mates, say I'm in a work season, or argue that the women I am willing to see long-term are dating multiple men and that, to prove myself that I'm a desirable man, I should entertain many people, too. But, amidst all this acceptance of a simulation of love I don't believe in, my soul would rot because of the non-adherence to my idealized view of love.

Behavior is no accident. I accepted a situationship out of curiosity for this 'new' way of loving. Others seek a semblance of connection through a relationship that allows progress towards failure from the beginning.

Five months into my situationship, I've realized I'm not accepting a redefinition of love but diluting its essence. I hoped to understand situationships better by experiencing one. Now I realize I'm not meant to know anything. The hallmark of my past long-term relationships is that I didn't know where they were going, but I knew they were going somewhere.

There should be a time limit on how long a situationship lasts before we decide to be just friends. It shouldn't be three months.

Ambi | 90s/2000s RnB 4ever

My parents had me when they were 21. Growing up, I never listened to the Eagles or The Rolling Stones. Maybeeee the occasional Fleetwood Mac. 

“Give me a call if you wanna come roll with me”.....”if you was my ladayyyy”

I can hear Chingy, me sitting in the back seat, humming the song as I walked into grade school. A car ride that looked a lot different than the ones I would have with friends and their parents, belting It’s Too Late by Carole King as if they rehearsed it for a suburban ABC special. 

I’m not sh!tting on classic rock. In my adulthood I have come to love me some Jim Croce. Perooo I recently got invited to this RnB night in CDMX, and tbh the feelings of nostalgia my pre-party jam sessions have brought up are just divine. They’re perfectly woven into the softness of a new Bratz doll’s hair and the smell of toaster strudel (the savory one cause I’ve always been a salty > sweet gal). Maybe this playlist will bring you somewhere too.

Jenna | peanut butter vibes

My freshman year of college, I had a laptop sticker that said “peanut butter vibes”—a dual ode to my love for peanut butter and the glass animals song, Gooey. Last night, I heard Gooey live and had the chance to unleash my giddy college laptop-sticker-identifying self and it felt so so good (yes that was me screaming) (yes I still have a voice today, by some miracle)

Alyson | meteorologist in another life

Recently watched Twister (1996) to prepare for Twisters, which is opening today (7/19) as a standalone sequel. When I tell you that this film floored me, I am understating it. Shot on location on the precipice between film and digital moviemaking, this is truly an epic viewing experience that epitomizes what I love so much about 90s movies. Give it a watch, you won’t regret it. And allegedly Twisters is this summer’s Top Gun: Maverick so buckle up. I love weather fr.

Mivin | we live in a world

where I am mentally swimming rn.

Aishwarya | lovin on loewe

loewe is really having a moment right now.

current creative director jw anderson is to take credit for loewe’s recent resurgence and this is what i’ve been most interested in and want to primarily talk about

i read the story of how he got this job a couple of years ago and i’ve been enamored with him since

the ambition of jonathan anderson – the designer transformed loewe into one of the most successful brands

• essentially he prepared a presentation and pitched himself, and got the job

what i like most about him is that he frequently bridges the worlds of art and fashion, drawing inspiration from other mediums like poetry, pottery, sculpture – into designs that are innovative and inspiring, but not exactly commercial. he is very referential 

lets look at loewe FW23 and maison margiela SS96

this collection was focused on the effects light has on materials. models walked the runway with trompe l’œil, clothes like vintage dresses or a trench coat were screen-printed onto a blank canvas. margiela did something similar in SS96, where martin himself decided to print different garments like fur coats, paillettes dresses or a military safari jacket onto blank clothes used as a blank canvas

in both cases, the clothes printed were not from the respective brands, instead they were antique pieces. margiela wanted to portray the copying nature of the fashion industry and maybe anderson too. the references are insane!!

jw anderson doesn’t hide being referential. i love that so much.

this case study on loewe is beautiful. jonathan anderson and m/m (paris) discuss the new language of loewe

“I saw a photograph of him in his studio posed next to a pile of Yohji Yamamoto catalogues that had been designed by creative duo M/M (Paris) in the mid-1990s.”

is everything i needed to know about jw anderson. if you look at yamamoto’s archive through the 90s (let's gatekeep this website please), you wouldn’t be surprised:

i want to give a sidenote shoutout to m/m paris. i personally describe them as a the es devlin of fashion. they’ve creative directed everyone, just like es devlin has done art/stage direction for everyone that is to be known. 

another little anecdote i loved:

my katz i purchased in madrid as i write this!

also, not to throw shade but loewe is what jacquemus wishes they were. if i had the time, i’d write an essay on this (commission me)

Other things!

07/24 @ 8:30 AM - VIRTUAL JOURNALING: SPEED UP TO SLOW DOWN:

Amber is cohosting with Emily Chertow & Journaling Class’s Mindful Mornings @ 8:30 AM EST this upcoming Wednesday….honestly wonderful way to start the day. It’s free also. <3 Register HERE babes.

Iron Chef Dad finalllyyyy released a video after a month (top 5 internet families):

Not saying yes to plans unless this the vibe:

Kiss kiss. <3

But the day I attended my boyfriend Louie’s grad school reunion, I was exposed a different reality of men’s fashion—a tribal undercurrent influencing even the most trivial t-shirt choices.

This was the day that Louie chose to wear a graphic tee with the words “BE A GOOD PERSON” written in massive black letters across his chest. He owned the shirt in multiples, leftovers from some fundraiser an ex-girlfriend hosted in high school. To him, it was just “soft” (likely from 8 years of wear) and “went with everything” (white with black letters, sure).

Men, ranging from ripe college grads to 40-somethings reliving their glory days (“men” may be generous here) were dapping him up, head-nodding to his chest, and stopping him to say, “Yo, nice shirt.”

They were simple compliments, totally benign, warranting nothing more than a quick “thanks.” But in my head? They were a full on display of male tribalism. It was as if Louie was captain of the “good person” team and they all wanted to prove they were on it too. “Nice shirt,” tripped out of their mouths like an automatic salute. They had to acknowledge it—not because men enjoy complimenting other men, not because it was a noteworthy stylistic choice (sorry, Louie), but because it was a statement of allegiance that required response.

At the end of the day, men’s fashion may be trite. But it also may be more complex than we give it credit for: Guys aren't picking clothes, they're picking teams. Every graphic tee, every perfectly worn baseball cap, they’re all uniforms for their little tribes. Men may not be “trying” to make a fashion statement with their clothing choices. But—whether intentional or not—they’re making a mating call to the fellow bros, hoping for that sweet, sweet fist bump of belonging.

In graphic t-shirt we trust.

It really does go down in the DM’s. BRB while we add it to our Bumble profiles as well. #growthhackers

Aishwarya | & that’s on routine

doing my daily affirmations.

Alyson | replacing SSRI’s

Lately I’ve been doing things each month that embody the mood of that month the previous year. Maybe other people do this (I’m new to the term “sonder”) or maybe I’m just in my first full year of real adulthood. Last July & August, I watched the Netflix show Heartstopper and it brought so much joy to me during a confusing time. This show is literally more effective than any therapy or SSRI. I just commenced my rewatch, and it feels so lovely to feel that nostalgia viscerally and look back on a difficult time & realize it wasn’t so bad after all 😃 art really gets us through!

Amber | making friends w/ a beekeeper (finally)

“Have you tried my honey?” - my coffee shop barista (why do we not say baristo for male?)

Bro what (see pic above). But also, slay. “Are you a beekeeper?” “Yes ma’ammmm.” Tasted notes of eucalyptus and mint, produced in southern CDMX. Going on a tour soon w/ Pablo soon, will report back. I <3 humans.

Mivin | here

words on a page don't change, but we do,

embrace time and revisit knowledge as often as you wish

Jenna | fireworks are so last year

the sunset before the fireworks >>>> the fireworks

Some other nuggets:

The Florida Project …. how have we not seen this sooner???

*immediately drinks water holding cup with both hands like a lil kid after playing all day* frfr…phenomenal depiction of the complications of poverty, childhood innocence, ragtag mischief.

This Mina Le episode:

And many other things that we’re too caffeinated to remember right now. 💋💋💋

Kiss kiss.

It was 5pm in the afternoon and I was lying on my bed with no pants on. New York City is experiencing what I would say is its tenth heatwave of the summer. Earlier in the day, I rallied myself for my morning run, which ended with me dissociating in the Whole Foods skincare aisle, grasping at my elderberry gummies that I swear have helped me stave off (most) colds ever since I started taking them.

Boredom struck around 1pm, and I remembered the cystic pimple that has been hanging out between my eyebrows for the past two weeks. Shortly after, I was on the train to my dermatologist in Midtown, who accepts me and my copay with open arms more often than I’d like to admit. One quick cortisone shot to my face later and I was back on the F train headed downtown.

I decided to get off at West 4th Street to do some shopping. I was on the phone on Christopher Street, leaned up against a homewares store, trying to get ahold of the 92nd St YMCA. I had been taking a watercolor class there for a few weeks, and I couldn’t be sure if today was the last week of the course or not. I watched the cars zoom by on Sixth Avenue, people walking and biking and eating and kissing, taking up space. Recently, I was in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where the streets were wide and quiet and I felt like I could hear the sun sifting through the clouds.

I am recently more amazed by space and how differently it is occupied around the country. How do I live on this island jam-packed with people and things, with everything I could possibly want at my fingertips, and the entire thing could fit in a small corner of a huge state like New Mexico or Texas?

I am afraid of a lot of things, and I will tell you straight away. But I project an air of fearlessness usually. One of the fears I try to disengage with is that New York City is not for me. That my time here is actually finite. Who am I without New York? But I saw myself watching myself leaned up against the homewares store. Sweating, on the phone, about to purchase some cards and look at overpriced melamine catchalls. I get so caught up in everything always, distracting my brain with videos and words and pictures.

Sometimes I forget that I once dreamed of doing exactly what I do all the time.

After trudging home across town and pressing my boobs against my AC unit for ten minutes straight, 5pm was right around the corner. My clean laundry lay in a heap on my bed, but I just rolled over it all and started reading my book. I only had a few pages left, and this particular book has struck me more than others. I’ve been watching this Copenhagen-based YouTuber lately who makes travel and lifestyle videos. I spotted this particular book in many of her videos; I figured she was struggling to get through it considering how many weeks of vlogs it was featured in. I started finding it in many bookstores, and eventually I gave in and bought it. The story was edgy and spicy and sexy and angry, but also sweet and based in New York City.

As I lay on my bed, with my eyes drifting to the shadows the fire escape cast on the brick building out my window, I thought about how much my life has changed in the last year. A year ago, I had no job and had just moved into an apartment by myself. It was my first time truly living alone after having spent my entire adult life living with someone who I did everything with. That girl could not imagine that I would be living this life alone right now. I know somewhere deep in her heart, she knew she was missing this part of her dreams. Freedom. I was blind to my lack of it.

I don’t know much about love but I know more than I used to know for sure. I thought love had to be all-consuming, sacrificial, overwhelming.

I thought I had to grab on to anything that felt right and safe because losing it and trying to find something different or better for me made me afraid.

I’ve always been afraid of losing what feels comfortable, even if that thing isn’t actually comforting. I am bad at letting go and being uncertain, but I am trying to change that. And then:

“Wherever you are going, it is waiting for you.”

I finished the book. I put on my shorts. I sat at my desk and just sat there. Why does the summer always make me feel so much? I feel like I am emerging. I am trying to change. And I never thought I would ever want that so badly.

while i often critique a certain type of man1 for using fashion as a manipulative gimmick to adopt a soft boi image (see alyson’s piece), disguising a homogenized, Fashion-Bros ™ archetype, this piece serves as a meta-self-inquiry. it questions whether my condemnation arises not from their supposed attempt to 'redefine masculinity' by embracing femininity2, but from my own pick-me-syndrome, rooted in a fear of embracing my own femininity.

above is a text conversation i recently had with my boyfriend. it’s about a certain niche men’s fashion blogger we both used to follow being roasted in a super-specific fashion discord. this discord community is run by two hyper-niche men’s fashion podcast dudes, both of whose career journeys we had to deeply know and viscerally understand in order to internalize what these very niche references signal. 

now, why do i know all of this? why do i know the companies at which these men’s fashion podcasters worked, what podcast they previously hosted, why that podcast evolved into another one, which then evolved into their current one? why is it that i’ve always been interested in supreme culture3 and been attracted to men who 

(1) have this deep niche knowledge of exclusivity 

(2) own these exclusive pieces, and 

(3) are seemingly above it all? 

why do i find myself drawn to men who can casually drop references to obscure japanese designers or discuss the intricacies of italian tailoring4?

perhaps it's because i've internalized the idea that to be interesting, to be worthy of attention, i need to be fluent in these traditionally masculine spaces. it's as if by understanding and participating in these niche communities, i can prove that i'm not like other girls5. i'm the cool girl who gets it, who can hang with the boys and their esoteric interests.

but isn't this just another form of the pick-me syndrome? am i not just performing for the male gaze, even as i critique others for doing the same? there's a certain irony in condemning men for adopting feminine traits while i myself am chasing masculinity through men’s fashion knowledge.

this obsession with men's fashion isn't just about the clothes. it's about power, about being in the know, about having access to a world that's supposedly not for me. it's about the thrill of understanding something that's meant to exclude. but at what cost?

am i not just reinforcing the very hierarchies i claim to oppose? by valuing this niche knowledge so highly, am i not just propping up another form of elitism, another way to separate the "cool" from the "uncool"?

and what does it say about me that i find men who engage in this type of gatekeeping attractive? am i drawn to the exclusivity, the sense of being part of something special? or is it a misguided attempt to prove my own worth by association?

as i further myself in this world of hyper-specific men's fashion, i have to ask myself: am i really interested in the clothes, the design, the craftsmanship? or am i more interested in the social capital it provides? the ability to drop the right names, to recognize the right references, to be seen as "in the know"?

this leads me to an uncomfortable question: in this dance of knowledge and exclusivity, who's really pulling the strings? are these fashion-savvy men manipulating me into chasing their approval, or am i the one manipulating them, using their world as a stage for my own performance of desirability? 

is the obsession with men's fashion my internalized misogyny? is it rooted in a desire to be seen as exceptional by men and a fear of embracing my own femininity?

“You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman.”

— Margaret Atwood, The Robber Bride

Hoping some how, some way, you found a grill and ate your weight in watermelon. Here’s some more Blasé munchies to continue savoring.

Aishwarya | steve summer

brat summer is steve summer

Jenna | summer break begins

Been trying to quit my job for like a month to the point that my friend started sending me cal invites to quit, never did it, got laid off yesterday) (and that’s on ✨the universe✨)

Alyson | hey Kendall

Sometimes I have to be this person. When in LA…

Mivin | 3 s’s

a good day consists of sound, sun and sky.

Ambi | red flamboyant

My favorite umbrella. In PR, the red flamboyant tree symbolizes pride, hope, and rest. Hope you get a lot of the latter and take just as much as you need of the former two.

Still hungry?

• This song:

• Slowing down to speed up

• This:

  

Kiss kiss.

My friends here are super cognizant, and I’ve gained insight.

I am a 25 y/o man from Sydney, Australia - and men’s fashion here is very different.

So naturally I’ve learnt alot in these discussions with Amber, Alyson, Jenna and Aish.

One day during our weekly's, I put my camera down and asked them to give me an honest take on my fit.
This was my first-ever fit-check.
I was wearing black hemp shorts with long white socks and white nikes - some sort of space waffle type I forget. I also had a blank navy hoodie without drawstrings, a staple piece in my wardrobe.

They told me I dressed safe - and I felt safe hearing that.

This is me extending that same safety to you:

How we are perceived by any gaze can build us up, or tear us down.

First impressions can increase our net worth, improve our love lives, open the doors, or keep them shut.

Whatever our focus is, what we wear is a signal. 

Show up authentically, and watch the world smile back.

Fashion is how we create our mobile habitat.

Be mobile! Be habitat!

P.S - Don’t forget your fit check.

Submit a fit. Be it yourself, your boyfriend or any male that catches your gaze for better or worse. We'll share the vibes it's #giving in our wrap up post, anonymously of course. Send photos to @blaseraire on IG or via email at blaseraire@gmail.com.

It’s a brat summer and to celebrate we’re introducing Raireties — a weekly grab bag of musings, inspo, #facts, and gags the Blasé babes are digging.

Vamos.

Alyson | Sexy Marlon Brando

Just watched A Streetcar Named Desire starring Marlon Brando. I’m obsessed with Golden Age Hollywood films, and after watching On the Waterfront a few years ago, knew I needed more Brando. A Streetcar Named Desire is everything… and Brando is HOT. It led me to wonder if Brando would be considered an internet boyfriend if the 1951 movie was released today… methinks yes!

Mivin | GRWM…get ripped w/ Mivin

@mivin.mathewGRWM 💙🌱 #mobility #stretch #stretching #sun #sky #love #life #resistance #resistancebands #nike #justdoit #practice

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The storm was always calm, we just never danced in the rain.

Aishwarya | play

let’s play!

Ambi | boricua ASMR

One day our little screens will be scratch and sniff. For now, more daily asmr + rando musings here.

Other shtufffff:

Blasé IRL lately ——> :0 the internet is a beautiful thing.

Aish and Amber also met in East Hampton (giving Sex and the City) buttttt got virtually no photos. Here’s a soft launch instead:

And of course a banger to round things out:

See you next week. Kiss kiss.<3

If you have a phone (ie. if you are reading this) or you have legs and have stepped outside in a major city, you are likely no stranger to the growing prevalence of men’s fashion.

Once lingering in the dust of women’s silhouettes and runway breaking color-ways, men’s prêt-à-porter is picking up steam faster than Aimé Leon Dore can pump out it’s freddo cappuccinos.

It led the Blasé gals to ask: have the tables turned? or at least equalized? is men’s fashion now melting under the female gaze?

In this four part series, we’ll be exploring our Blasé babe takes.

Ambi here serving up some sillies + male love for dessert. Buen provecho!

A Recipe for the Modern Soft Boy

Ingredients:

1 pair of straight leg jeans – Acne Loose Fit Jeans or Levi’s 501s will do

1 baggy t-shirt – APC Lewis Tee (like all good recipes the quality of the ingredients make a difference – you know it’s APC 😌)

1 washed or waffle knit sweater – something like this or this

1 tote bag – Aime Leon Dore Crochet Tote – definitely will surprise and delight a crowd

1 pair of hater blockers – OFF–white TUSCONs

1 pair of nonchalant sneakers – Margiela Replicas

Instructions:

1. Place jeans on. If you are a short king, it is your time to shine. Cuffing goes a long way in fighting against alpha syndrome. If shorts are the only option, aim for 5 inch inseams. No more. No less.

2. Belt should be vintage, belt should not appear new. It will make you look like you are trying too hard…remember, you are soft. Like the leather of your dad’s favorite waistband that you steal from him next time you are home.

3. Baggy tee, on. DO NOT TUCK. Effortless, cool, flowy, like the watery depths of your heart.

4. Sweater tied over shoulders, and only over shoulders. Better to leave at home if it is too hot because you were never meant to wear it and the added heat around your neck always leaves your hairline sweaty.

5. Glasses to be worn when on the street but taken off in moments where eye contact could likely be held for more than 3 seconds. Subways, stopped at a red light walking on the street, grocery stores, and any and all check out lines are not appropriate environments for glasses to be on your face. Make sure you place them slowly back in the case so you give people an extra chance to see where they are from.

6. For accessories, work with what you have – simple gold or silver chain, also ideal that it is a family heirloom so you can tell the story behind it. Beaded colorful necklaces are also very cute and show that you are playful.

   

Recipe Notes

• Next time you are with a girl, bring up how fun it would be if you made each other name bracelets. She’ll love that you want to do things with your hands and are implicitly fulfilling her Swiftie dreams, plus you’ll fill a gap in your accessories.

• The caveat to the glasses being worn: IF you are in situations that overwhelm you due to their intimacy or requirement for you to be perceived, you can place your glasses on. As a trade for connection, you will appear mysterious and subtle. One should not miss an opportunity for intrigue. CHIMI’S Colton’s are a great indoor/outdoor choice.

• Elwood should also be somewhere in your closet so that the girl you end up ghosting can wear it for the night when she is cold. Also a fair price point if she ends up stealing it - at least she’ll know you have swag.

• You can swap the Aime Leon Dore bag for Jacquemus’s La sac Marcel. It will show you have character and are well traveled – iykyk…Capri papi.

• Keep a book in your tote at all times. Should be placed on a cafe table when seated. It’s okay that you haven’t opened a book’s cover since high school.

• B*tches love kitschy keychains, a rogue journal, and a sneaky pack of cigs (Parliament to be exact).

Reviews for This Recipe:

“When I saw his outfit, he was the kinda guy who could handle my daddy issues but also the kinda guy I want to f*ck”

“We met while he was reading at Washington Square Park. <3”

“He’s definitely so in touch with his sensitive side. He had this rose keychain and I think a peeped a journal in his bag…!!!”

“He’S sO Co00000l.”

“Can’t you tell he is intentional???? And he travels. King.”

Please note that this recipe may contain common allergens such as avoidant tendencies, difficulty communicating, and randomly jetting out of town when life gets rough.

Bon appetit.

Chef’s Note:

I really love men. And I have so much faith in the evolution of the male species the entire human race.

I hope men’s emotional capacity continues to soften at the same rate as collective style. I hope we can all realize the beauty in their hard traits too.

I hope humanity can see the beauty in duality, the space in between the soft and hard, the necessity for the dance, but most importantly, the safety within it… in all of the forms it takes.

The openheartedness that’s needed for healthy holding of it all.

Cheers to staying soft (and hard in the right ways….:P <3).

Kiss kiss.

Blasé Fit Check:

Submit a fit. Be it yourself, your boyfriend or any male that catches your gaze for better or worse. We'll share the vibes it's #giving in our wrap up post, anonymously of course. Send photos to @blaseraire on IG or via email at blaseraire@gmail.com. 💋

If you have a phone (ie. if you are reading this) or you have legs and have stepped outside in a major city, you are likely no stranger to the growing prevalence of men’s fashion.

Once lingering in the dust of women’s silhouettes and runway breaking color-ways, men’s prêt-à-porter is picking up steam faster than Aimé Leon Dore can pump out it’s freddo cappuccinos.

It led the Blasé gals to ask: have the tables turned? or at least equalized? is men’s fashion now melting under the female gaze?

In this four part series, we’ll be exploring our Blasé babe takes.

Alyson on men’s per-figgity-formance:

I’m rewatching Bridgerton in preparation for the release of Season 3, and these high-society women are truly at the modiste 24/7. They need the newest fabric to be tailored into a fresh frock for the latest cotillion in order to catch the eye of potential suitors.

TBH, women have been using fashion in this way from the beginning of time to attract a partner. In my first ever Women’s Studies course in college (which led me to devote my studies to feminist theory), I read a quote by John Berger that has stuck with me to this day:

”Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at.”

So it’s not to say that men have not also been manipulating their appearance to find a partner, but rather that inscribed gender relations and the patriarchy writ large refract how and why men and women choose what they do when it comes to fashion.

Women have been conditioned to center their external appearance to appeal to the male gaze, to center their physical value on what a man thinks of it. Under this patriarchal haze, who are today’s Marcus Milione’s performing for? Is contemporary male fashion, resplendent with workwear jackets and chunky rings and painter pants (gorp core or blue collar stolen valor?) a costume or a uniform? Are men seeking to stand out or to fit in?

I was briefly seeing this guy who seemed to be fitting in to the male fashion corner of the zeitgeist that permeates every corner of New York City (well, mostly Bushwick). Our conversations were generally banal, yet I found his interest in fashion to be refreshing and exciting.

We weren’t talking about Sandy Liang or Paloma Wool, which I know are still barely scratching the surface in terms of the indie haute couture scene. But he had his Carhartt beanie in his jacket pocket, an affinity for “gorpy” sneakers, and was donning some baggy Kith jeans along with a navy J Crew sweater.

I was swooning, what can I say? An interest in fashion, inherently a female-coded pursuit, segues beautifully into the new soft boy, the golden retriever boyfriend, the “man that is in touch with his feelings but probably only went to therapy once and tells you about it every day.” Was he trying hard, or being effortlessly cool?

All I can tell you is that a man caring about fashion does not mean he is a soft boi who is in touch with his emotions, but rather that he may be extremely avoidant and can’t dive deeper on fashion beyond letting you know that “that outsole is adorable!”.

But hey. Regardless of why men are utilizing fashion as currency and for who, we all can appreciate a man that cares about his appearance, whether he is doing it to appeal to women or to seek social acceptance from other men and society at large as the definition of masculinity contorts in the 21st century.

My personal fav male fashion archetype at the moment is this guy who came up on my explore page months ago and is still living rent free in my brain.

Cheers to weekend blasé babes. xx

P.S. Some questions for you and da crew to discuss over your 1pm spritzes this weekend:

As women increasingly try to decenter men in the way that they present themselves and behave (as much as we can under the patriarchy):

• Are men trying to move into that space?

• Is interest in this kind of mainstream male fashion a performance in wanting to be different or wanting to fit in and be considered “cool”?

• Is being different the new way to be accepted into a different stratum of sameness?

• Do men recognize the social capital that caring about culture and fashion yields?

In our previous piece, we ended with an exploration of the vehicles for dealing with the dissatisfactions of life. In this piece, we’ll begin to look deeper…seeing how the glimmer of these temporary (and often damaging) fixes are starting to fade.

The cost of coping + shhhmoking = croaking

The long-term consequences of these coping mechanisms (ZYN, postmodern consumption of media, Ozempic, etc) remain largely unknown. We're traversing uncharted territory, where the impacts of excessive screen time and reliance on pharmaceutical aids are yet to be fully understood. As time reveals the repercussions of these habits, there's a growing realization that they may not align with our inherent human need for genuine connection, holistic well-being, and meaningful experiences.

We do know that social media is having negative effects on our self-worth, self-image, and exacerbating depression and anxiety...it's almost too overwhelming to begin to think through the impact of, say, eye health through looking at artificial light for upwards of 7 hours a day...let's not even get started on AirPod Maxes beaming Charli XCX full volume into our eardrums for another 8....god bless our wee-brains.

This shift in desire for more “healthy” coping mechanisms is wonderfully represented by the sober curious movement, with 41% of people planning to drink less alcohol in 2024. It’s possible we’re heading into a world where consumption of alcohol is undergoing a mindset shift akin to the societal perception of cigarettes today. However, we still see signs outside of bodegas in NYC saying “ZYN - SOLD OUT!”

As awareness grows regarding the potential drawbacks of postmodern consumption patterns, there's a natural inclination towards seeking alternatives that prioritize actual authenticity, self-care, and conscious living…not just the glorified idea of it through a highly-curated-but-made-to-look-completely-casual instagram photodump, but the lived experience of it... 

You can’t sit with us (unless your mattress is Eight Sleep)

In theory, the "goop" ethos offers a holistic approach, addressing not just physical health but also mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

But what happens in a world where wellness becomes social capital?

Where showing up to pilates in anything other than an alo yoga matching set is a sticking point to signing up for the class. Where not holding a Kin in hand as a sober-curious girlie is blasphemy. Where going to Ayahuasca retreats in someone’s Brooklyn apartment(?) is a performative checkbox rather than a journey to the inner self.

Think about who gets to go to Davos and who invests most in longevity science companies (hint hint - billionaires do not want to age or die!). There are drugs literally being developed to increase the lifespan of dogs. What does it say about you if you choose to not buy a drug to synthetically increase the lifespan of your dog? (W)oof. 

Most venture capitalists and exited tech founders (nouveau riche type beat) bank cord blood and placentas. One can’t help but think…do only rich people get to survive the apocalypse? 

Sequencing our personal genome is not accessible or affordable yet. The wellness industrial complex, just like anything else that influences the economy, is actively increasing wealth disparity across the world. 

These signals require deep pockets, not self-awareness. It’s giving Medieval Europe instead of the period of Enlightenment, the technological renaissance claims to be in.

Turns out authenticity is accessible?!! :0

When you strip the ego out of wellness, you see ancient practices of meditation, ayurveda, TCM, indigenous healing practices, which often require nothing but seasonal foods and a deep connection to nature. “Modalities” include acupressure points that can be stimulated with one’s own hands, breathing that can be led by one’s own guidance, singing and prayers that can be done with one’s own voice. There is nothing to add, and everything to be. 

Being is who we are. It is something that is  accessible to all of us, not just nepo babies, SAH girlfriends, or those with cushy finance, consulting, or big-tech jobs.

When you strip the ego away, you see that wellbeing cannot be purchased. 

You can engage with tools to support your journey, but strides in neuroimmunology, quantum physics, therapeutics, epigenetics (more on this soon!) are showcasing that optimal wellbeing has far more to with our internal mindset, environments, and social circles than it has to do with any SoulCycle membership.

These products that promise a more fulfilled version of ourselves are really repackaged bandaids. They might cover our wounds but they do not remedy the root cause.

The wellness-industrial-complex is buying our attention, fooling us into thinking their products will get us “closer to ourselves”, when all they do is perpetuate a lack of self-trust.

Because if the single thing tying us together is that we are human, why would some be fundamentally “more deserving” of truth than others?

Glossary

Epigenetics: the study of changes in gene expression or cellular phenotype that do not involve alterations to the underlying DNA sequence. These changes can affect how genes are turned on or off and are influenced by various factors including environment, lifestyle, and disease states.

Nouveau Riche: a French term that translates to "new rich" in English. It refers to individuals or families who have recently acquired substantial wealth, typically within their own generation, rather than inheriting it from previous generations.

Neuroimmunology: an interdisciplinary field that combines aspects of neuroscience and immunology to study the interactions between the nervous system and the immune system.

Postmodern Consumption: refers to patterns of consumer behavior and cultural practices that emerged in the late 20th century, influenced by the characteristics of postmodernism. Postmodernism is a broad cultural, artistic, and intellectual movement characterized by skepticism toward grand narratives, a focus on subjective experience, and an embrace of diversity and pluralism.

References

Headphones and hearing loss: What to know

How blue light affects your eyes, sleep, and health

Industry Leaders Support New Longevity Economy Principles to Improve Outcomes for Aging Societies

Loyal: Helping Dogs Life Longer

Sober Curious Movement: 41% of Americans are Trying to Drink Less Alcohol

The year is 2029. It’s been 10 years since the COVID-19 pandemic. And the seeds that were planted when time felt like it stopped are now in full bloom. 

Aperol Spritzes are a thing of European summers’ past, replaced by sueros and herbal joints. Elixirs to “add to the moment” and “elevate the senses” rather than bring us further from our physical form. 

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It’s now standard for cold plunges to be found on NYC rooftops, and no gym is worth joining if its amenities don’t include an infrared sauna. 

As we look at this wellness world in full bloom, one can’t help but consider – where did this movement find its roots?

Insert the “goop” philosophy 

This concept, while still currently niche and mostly confined to the upper realms of society — think suburban moms, SF tech bros, and NYC clean girls — has the eventuality to evolve into the world painted lines above, ie. health-coded super consumption.

While wellness as a social currency certainly began prior to Gwyneth Paltrow’s pop-off, the movement gained notable momentum around the same time that yoni eggs entered the modern lexicon. 

goop, founded by starlet Gwyneth Paltrow as her wellness recommendation newsletter, has since evolved into one of the largest wellness authorities and retailers in the US, hitting peak revenue of $18M in 2023 alone. 

The company defines itself as, “an indispensable resource of finding products, tools, tips, and experts to bring more agency, depth, and joy to life.”

Wondering how the words “agency” and “indispensable” can be used in the same sentence? 

Welcome to the world of wellness.

Transcendence: now available on the AppStore

Green juice powders, gut-microbiome supplements, weighted workout rings, and breathwork meditation apps – each a new flavor of optimization. Of making yOu fEeL bEeTtEr! Not to mention the CPG experts that name these companies with words like Poosh, Bloom, Goop…did we miss the memo about one-syllable, double-vowel brand names equating to improved wellbeing?

This trend is reminiscent of when a bunch of tech companies started to use “-ify” as a suffix to give the feeling of automation and control. We started to see these companies pop up everywhere: Shopify, Spotify, Giphy, Postify. 

They all did the same thing in different verticals. The names suggest a focus on transformation and improvement, to make processes easier and more efficient. It made our world homogenous. Everything became “efficient” and “techified.” C’mon Silicon Valley.

It took the joy away from finding new music from your friends; why do that when your Spotify algorithm will tell you what to listen to in your Discover Weekly playlist? 

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Call it a reach, but this is a potential uncanny parallel for the homogenization and outsourcing of the health and wellness sphere. We ought to add something to our lives for personal development. 

Less is….less?

The wellness-industrial-complex exudes a feeling of “not enough”. How dare we as humans have been born with everything we need to live an “agent, deep, and joyous” life. *cough, cough.*

Why do we need $100 lululemon leggings to do yoga? Our grandparents did yoga in their pajamas in the morning in India and ate ashwagandha before it was a trend. 

Why do we need an app to meditate – isn’t the point of meditating in removing everything around us and just letting ourselves be? 

The la mer moisturizer serves the same function as the one from Target. Do not get us started on 10-year-olds buying Drunk Elephant retinol from Sephora when they should be memorizing their times tables. 

People, old and young, are being told they need more, more, more to fit in, to be accepted, to reach a state of wellness. 

The funny thing is, wellness is not about more. It’s about removing, letting go, transcending. Wellness is about learning to exist in uncertainty, not consuming anything and everything to escape said uncertainty. 

We can go from vitamin to vitamin, SoulCycle to pilates, but another horizontal leap will only land us on another treadmill. Buying something new will not liberate us. The ultimate escape – transcendence – is vertical, not horizontal. 

True wellness is rising above the need to add more.

It makes sense why these health one-hit-wonders have found such deep success. Health and wellness became a sort of hum behind consumer-spending. The art of bettering oneself now is something to achieve, rather than a state of being.

Clawing at the cure

Consumers desire to look externally for a “cure”, something that will fix their internal void. It is the easier way out, of course, and in a world of short attention spans and dopamine-addicted instant-gratification fueled thinking, we will buy anything to shortcut a state of health. It’s almost as if the wellness industry is putting a fresh coat of paint over crumbling walls. 

Rather than embracing the true essence of wellness, which is rooted in looking inward, the wellness industrial complex will do anything to make the consumer believe we are missing something, that we ought to fill some externally imposed lack by buying whatever the lifestyle influencer, who seemingly has their life together on TikTok, is selling us on their Amazon Storefront. 

Gen Z are facing a struggling economy, climate doom, and political uncertainty. Kids now do not have the privilege of questioning norms when heightened automation and tech integration is what they are born into. What we view as “biohacking” is simply their everyday. 

While we have the privilege to intentionally “harness the power of feedback loops”, young adults today have trouble experiencing love and intimacy due to pornography and digital media. 

Everything is optimized on apps. Instagram is the modern day piazza. Passive surveillance creates a fear-based environment, where everyone is afraid of being perceived. Kids are on edge and anxious. It is only imperative that without any serious cultural discourse (that is accessible and inviting), this generation looks externally for a “cure”, or copes through conspicuous consumption. Hello PUFF BAR-toking friend on the L train.

In short, within our cultural landscape, people chase the things that will offer temporary relief, often serving as devices to numb the underlying discontent or dissatisfaction with life.

In Part 2 of this series, we’ll look at the impact that this has on social capital, the direction of consumer demands, andddd at what point our humanity takes center stage once more.

Stay well. :P 

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Blasé situation room vibes…

It’s giving hot nerd summer. Group editing session slay.

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Glossary:

Biohacking: broad and often controversial term that encompasses a range of activities and practices aimed at enhancing physical, mental, and emotional performance through various techniques and interventions.

Feedback Loops: systems in which outputs of a process are fed back into the system as inputs, creating a cycle of influence that can either enhance or diminish the process.

Passive Surveillance: a method of data collection in which information is gathered without active intervention or direct contact with the subjects being observed, an example being social media.

References:

Goop Revenue: Annual, Quarterly, and Historic

Harnessing the Power of Feedback Loops

Passive Surveillance is Not Intimacy

Understanding the Sexual Pressures Teens Are Facing

You ALSO know that Blasé began as a sandbox for curiosity. Some friends having an existential crisis in the club. Deciding to make time every Tuesday to unpack it. (It’s giving real life shit post.)

Weekly hangs turned into weekly writing. Then giving the writing a home to live under. A place to continue playing and welcome others into this childlike wonder in an adult flesh suit.

Aaaaand after almost a year of hanging out online, we’re excited to welcome other writers to our lil savant sandbox.

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Please give a digital squeeze to our new Blasé babes….

Bios are boring. Tell me your past life. Please also let this replace “show me your Costar” on first dates.

Aishwarya Khanduja

—> Describe yourself in a past life.

It is difficult to imagine my past life in the continent I wasn’t born and raised in for the formative years of my life. I am 26 today, which means I have now spent exactly half my life flying kites in the East and the other half untangling knots in the West.

I can vividly see myself in pre-independence India, partly because watching the movie Purab aur Pachhim (transl. East and West) with my dad is one of my strongest core childhood memories.

I see myself listening to indian jazz, deeply in touch with my culture, being a logician studying vedic philosophy, hosting intellectual socratic debates in the town square, experimenting with purva paksha and other ways of learning.

The vibes are Dishoom, experimenting with Bombay modern art, hanging out at Gymkhana (assuming they allow women).

—> What would your NPC be wearing?

Christoph Grosse

—> Describe yourself in a past life.

In a past life, as in this life, my consciousness is bifurcated. Dualities inherent in the heritage of both parents, made manifest in a child of third-culture.

One side resides about 2 hours east of Shenzhen and Hong Kong in Xiasha (Cantonese Pinyin: Ha Sha) Village. This is where my po po grew up, a woman I wish I knew, I wish could know me, where I feel the vestiges of former lived experience. Ha Sha Village no longer exists - it is buried under a diffusion of new development; an upscale amusement park and resort, not unlike the tide of development unrecognizably altering the small pocket of Chinatown Manhattan where my family secured a foothold in the United States. Xiàshā translates to “Lower Sands”, and its idyllic location on Mirs Bay and proximity to two major cities ripened it to the point that this was an all but inevitable prospect.

The other resides in West Berlin, pining for reconnection with another half to the East - a wall erected, a clandestine war of information and oppression, families and love connections sundered. Ich kann mich nicht bewegen. Each half split yet further apart by the last winning team. A grey town in a grey time. Ich trage Grau. Ich fühle mich grau. Alles ist grau.

—> What would your NPC be wearing?

Canton

• Long dark hair tied up in pigtails, secured with red string

• Gold chain with a jade Budai charm

• White tee

• Brown denim

• Sandals

Deutschland

• Wool overcoat

• Wool balaclava

• Dark grey wool fisherman’s sweater

• Washed black denim

• Combat boots

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Alyson Chatterjee

—> Describe yourself in a past life.

In a past life, I was a witch. I say this with nearly 100% certainty as I feel the vestigial pulse of witchery deep in my bones almost every day. But I wasn’t always this way. Witches have always been seen as nasty women, obviously by society at large but also by themselves. They knew that they were operating outside of social bounds, but there was a purpose to their practice. Witches were helping women with all sorts of things that the social order prohibited, and because of this they were sequestered to the margins of society. For daring to be bold and be different, they were deemed otherworldly, scary, hideous, and straight from hell.

My journey to understanding these things as positive traits has been long and convoluted, yet my teenaged viewing of Girl Interrupted may have something to do with it. I think we all feel this internal tug-of-war as we come of age and as we come of age again and again throughout our lives, because I refuse to believe that operating in that Lady Bird era of my life was the only fuel for my fire. We want to fit in but we want to be different. I always wanted to be different, but I feel like everyone does. I just didn’t care as much about what people thought. But don’t we all to an extent? I sometimes wonder if being different means just being yourself. Do we all feel like we are different? I truly hope so. But I do sometimes actively choose to eschew norms on purpose. Because sometimes I want people to know that I am angry or confused or sad. That I’m trying my best and I am expressing myself through how I live and what I consume. We all perform versions of ourselves online and in real life. How do we portray our emotions through our very existence?

A bit meta. But yes, I’m a Scorpio. I’m not well-versed in astrology, but when my life gets hard I will text my best friend Riley and ask her if it all makes sense for me according to the stars. Without a doubt, she will reassure me within seconds. Somewhere nestled between my pandemic realization that cottagecore was a space I felt safe within and my omnipresent passion for American History and classic holidays came this obsession with simplicity and a yearning to “return” to “normal times”. I found cottagecore imagery to be altogether healing. Within that framework, I found this alternative moody poet energy that became known as dark academia in the zeitgeist. I had not watched Harry Potter or Twilight growing up, and so at age 21 I began diving in to these fantasy worlds cloaked in darkness and mystery. It sounds silly but it felt so aligned with my soul and my spirit.

Rooting myself in the changing months and seasons has always felt grounding and exciting. Let us celebrate October, a month that feels like thick bubbles in my mouth! Or April, a word that looks like something is dripping and cleansing, renewing. For as long as I can remember, I’ve hosted little holiday parties for my friends to mark the months. Pink everything for Galentine’s Day, moody florals for my November birthday, bright blues and reds and yellows in the summer. The passage of time and holidays and colors and emotions feels correct to me. I try to celebrate everything a little bit.

So yes. On Halloween, I paint my nails black and bake cakes the color of charcoal and light my taper candles and sit in the dark watching Harry Potter or Twilight or maybe even A Tale of Autumn. To me, a witch represents this very particular time of the year, but she also represents daring to be different, helping others, reinventing femininity, and the idea that embodying fear is much less a reflection of oneself than a reflection of how other’s fit you into their worlds.

Witches represent the intention to be different on purpose coupled with being othered by the social order. We are all part of the social fabric of this world, whether it accepts us or not. Witches are scary and spooky, on purpose and accidentally. They are mysterious, intentional, interesting, and accidental. They are omnipotent and constantly learning. Or in other words, they are spooky and they are the divine feminine! That is me right there. I like being a little scary. Is that bad? I like to surprise myself through my constant curiosity, try new things, ask questions, feel every emotion, and wonder where I am heading next. I try to harness my witchiness as much as I can, but alas that was a past life, one I have no power over, one I just have to let happen to me.

—> What would your NPC be wearing?

My NPC is truly just Amelie. It’s wearing: red cardigans and long skirts and stomping around in chunky black loafers.

Mivin Mathew

—> Describe yourself in a past life.

In this life, I am fortunate to remember two previous stays on Earth.

The first was a dark time. This stay helped me train and battle test my soul.

The second was very light. Almost like a breather. I spent my days with loved ones, the ocean and the land. I created, and experienced Heaven.

In both these lifetimes, I remained as I am now - wandering, watching, and wary.

Aware that I am not from here.

But here is where I am.

I keep returning.

And so I keep wondering.

—> What would your NPC be wearing?

• breathable shorts that don’t touch my kneecaps, for optimal movement.

• a loose and light top that drapes from my shoulders and chest, and sways in the wind.

• wooden sandals that are moulded to my feet, with straps and ankle support for maneuverability.

• silver hoop earrings that store the memories of all I hear.

Jenna Movsowitz

—> Describe yourself in a past life.

I have to be honest: I’m not sure I had a past life. Not because I’m a non-believer (that’d be no fun) but because—on a scale of eternity—I feel so, so young. I feel like naiveté drips out of me. I feel like I inhale everything as brand-new. I feel like everyone I meet has practiced their script and I’m sight-reading, still choking on my words.

It might sound uncomfortable to live in such fresh skin. It’s still so sensitive, so raw, that anything could cause a reaction. And all of this is true: I emote quickly, visibly, and often.

But being newly incarnated is also my favorite thing about myself. It means that the tiniest things bring me the greatest joy. It means that I can’t take a bite of something delicious without yelling about it—too loudly—and insisting that anyone with me “freaks out” too. It means that I hear every single instrument that makes up every song. It means that I think every person I meet is the most interesting person in the room, that I’m easy to hurt but quick to forgive, that I’m antsy for change but afraid to let go, and—on a scale of eternity—I’ve got a long line of future past-lives to look forward to.

—> What would your NPC be wearing?

My NPC is wearing…

• a plain white shirt with an oversized, sage green corduroy jacket

• light-wash straight jeans that hug my thighs

• white Reeboks

• a thin gold chain (sans pendant) and gold hoops

Amber Theurer

—> Describe yourself in a past life.

I am walking back from a well in step with other women from my village. Forget walking. We glide. In sisterhood. Just as we have in girlhood, in motherhood, in womanhood.

I am wearing white linen clothing, my figure highlighted by colored fabrics, some corseted, some draping. A form of worship in itself. I’m wearing delicate gold hoops, textured instead of perfect. Imprinted by their maker’s dedication.

My skin is honey - similar to present day - kissed by the Mediterranean sun. My days are familiar in a nourishing way - also honey, smooth, rich, inviting in their repetition.

I worship the language of the earth, and I was put here to live in rhythm with her wisdom.

I love being an (ancient) woman.

(It’s giving Édouard Sain’s Excavations at Pompeii…this found me at Musée d'Orsay last year. Immediately when I saw it I was taken over…tears.)

—> What would your NPC be wearing?

Honestly a form of what I wear most days, which is:

• Linen maxi skirt, tight fit around the waist line, airy and flowing tiered around the length of the leg - natural creme flax color vibes

• Soft leather calf height boots - slight, slight heel - dark brown

• Plunging knitted brown top

• Thin gold hoops earrings + delicate gold chain necklaces

• Chunky rings

• CURLY CURLY LONG MANE!!!!

• Also giving Édouard Sain lmao

A note of gratitude:

Thank you to the babes, Aishwarya, Christoph, Alyson, Mivin, Jenna, for sharing your minds and hearts - belief in aliens is debateable.

If you’ve been reading this for a few months, a few minutes, didn’t read it at all but scrolled to the bottom, thank you too.

Excited for this next chapter of rairities!!! As always if you have any deep dark lovely desires, hit our line.

Kiss kiss. — Ambi

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Hello Angel,

A quick note on how to engage with this article.

1. Like a class curriculum, each topic is part of a larger unit that dives into a distinct subject. Think of it like a vinyl record, each topic can be enjoyed as a track or fully experienced like an album. Subscribe to get them weekly in your inbox!

2. No knowledge gatekeeping here! We’re neophytes ourselves, presenting our laywomen’s research from topics that make us curious. If you see a bolded term, it is defined in the glossary at the end of this article.

3. Look out for underlined passages, these are your portal down the knowledge rabbit hole and lead to further reading. Insatiable? Original sources are merchandised on our interactive reference page at the end.

4. This is a *reciprocal* experience! We invite you to contemplate the discussion questions at the back. Or even cooler, forward the topic to a friend, colleague, or your crush and start a meaningful conversation.

Curiously,

Ambi & Abbey

As a reminder, the original question that led us here, was, “What is more real - money or astrology?”

We’ve defined both money and astrology. But we have yet to define what it means to be real.

An illusory term, Merriam Webster takes a stab, describing it as “having objective independent existence,” “not artificial, fraudulent, or illusory,” “occurring or existing in actuality.”

Sure, money has a dollar bill to stand for its objective existence, shoutout Mr. Benjy, but astrology has Co-Star. And when it comes to being fraudulent, it might be safe to say that money’s power for deceit holds more weight than that of the stars.

Close enough for government work

“They’re not twins, they’re sisters,” they say. Yeah, it relates to brows or t*ts, but this also relates to beliefs.

Just because they’re not identical, they can live in the same family.

Beliefs are a fundamental aspect of human cognition and consciousness. We hold beliefs for a variety of reasons, and they play crucial roles in shaping our understanding of the world, guiding our behavior, and helping us navigate life.

We believe in money because it serves as a conduit of exchange, a store of value, and a unit of account. We believe in astrology for a sense of identity, social and cultural influence, psychological comfort.

The point: there’s a collective contract in place that makes these things true. There’s been an unanimous shake of the head, a universal “yes ma’am,” to the concepts. Without individuals sharing in the “truth” of these constructs, neither would exist.

The future is a scary place

We hold beliefs for a myriad of reasons. We wish for psychological and emotional comfort, so we find patterns between things that provide stability and predictability.

We find it hard to be floating on a rock that’s hurling through space and because of that decisions can be hard to make. Beliefs help act as a compass in this otherwise abyss.

Some beliefs have evolutionary roots — helping us adapt and survive in different environments. They act as glue for group cohesion, allowing us to share in rituals and values that scratch our wired tribal itch.

In many ways, beliefs are tethers we can hold onto in the now, because a pesky, amorphous, unknown thing looms in front of us: the future.

“Fundamentally, fear of the future has an evolutionary background: the unknown has always represented a possible threat. Our body prepares itself for potential dangers by summoning all of its strength.”

As we’ve evolved over time, our big beautiful brains have conjured up threads of existence that help us live “stronger” to prepare for what this obscure future might look like.

There’s a lot of approaches to dealing and making sense of this future. Some turn to science, dedicating their time here to research that solves the observed problems of say the body. Others devote their lives to swapping numbers, ie. trading commodities. Others turn their lives to trading ideas, writing, painting, singing about the human experience. And still others root their lives in rituals, passing along stories of the past to frame today.

Over the last century, we have seen a boom in how technology has better helped us to forecast what come. From the weather to political unrest, we seem to have a calculation for what shape these things might take.

But future prediction is not new. We have been doing this as far back as the earliest civilizations, who identified individuals with particular gifts for calculating futures.

Oracles, shamans, and prophets (oh, my!) were turned to for guidance — they were revered and trusted for their methodology of mastering a theoretical rule-based system. Think: astrology, palmistry, numerology, Tarot. They were the pre-historical forecast manufacturers.

Fast forward to modern day, our figureheads of direction now often take the form of political theorists, scientists, sociologists, and more specifically in the money arena — economists, financial analysts, quants.

These future-predictors of today fall into two main categories:

1. those that treat human history as a series of patterns and forecast the future based on past data, ie. what happened before allows us to predict relatively what to expect; “history repeats itself” vibe

2. those that hold that future will look completely new given the technological and economic innovation occurring, ie. a set of net new potential realities that are more different than similar from past realities.

While these two groups are different in methodology, they are similar in that they are made of humans who hold beliefs and are drawing upon these to frame what they pose the future might look like. A series of arbitrary patterns allows them to draw a prediction that simply states: this might happen.

As Amanda Rees, a University of York scientist puts it, “Ultimately, neither approach is necessarily more useful than the other, and that’s because they both share the same fatal flaw—the people framing them.”

Cognitive beliefs serve as our mind's tool for comprehending and maneuvering through the intricate fabric of our surroundings. They represent our mental constructs of how the elements in our environment are anticipated to function and their interrelationships, essentially serving as the expected patterns for the world. These cognitive templates are indispensable for efficient learning and frequently play a pivotal role in ensuring our survival.

We’re hardwired to ensure that we pass spawning our offspring. And beliefs help us get there. The most highly regarded future forecasters of present-day may not be speaking tongues or interpreting tea leaves. But even if they’re studying stocks and market models — they’re still framing their reality on a set of patterns. Something that is both vital and destructive for passing on the family name.

Real begins with you

When we ask the question what is more real? The truth is … there is no truth.

There are constructs that collectively we have decided help us live more organized lives, more streamlined, cooperative existences. But they are no more than figments of our group imagination.

Someone, somewhere posed the thought that stars could help us navigate, money could help us more than bartering. Others said, “you right.”

These beliefs are in many ways a byproduct of our shared desire to deal with the mystery of this existence.

So when it comes to what’s more real — perhaps the answer begins with you….of course, you have to participate in the beliefs that keep society in tact, ie. Venmo to split dinner, giving a $20 bill for takeout rather than trading your last sourdough starter.

But while playing the game, you get to decide…what currency do you want live by?

1. What currency do you want to live by, ie. time, money, passion, connection?

2. Have you had any recent experiences that caused you to rethink your position on a particular issue or idea?

3. When’s the last time you were unwilling to consider a viewpoint differing from your own?

4. How can you deploy greater curiosity about your own beliefs? The beliefs of others?

Beliefs: beliefs are mental attitudes or convictions that an individual or a group holds to be true or considers as knowledge or reality. These convictions can be about a wide range of subjects, including factual information, values, opinions, and interpretations of the world. Beliefs are an essential aspect of human cognition and are often shaped by a combination of personal experiences, cultural influences, upbringing, education, and individual reasoning.

Evolutionary Background: evolutionary background typically refers to the historical and genetic context within which an organism or species has evolved. It encompasses the various factors and processes that have shaped the development and adaptation of an organism over time.

Mental Constructs: mental construct refers to an abstract or cognitive representation created within the mind to help understand, interpret, or make sense of various aspects of the world. Mental constructs are the mental models, concepts, or frameworks that individuals develop to organize and categorize information, ideas, and experiences. These constructs are not tangible or physical entities but are rather products of mental processes.

Haunted by Fear of the Future? How to Overcome It

The History of Predicting the Future

What Actually Is a Belief? And Why Is It So Hard to Change?

Hello Angel,

A quick note on how to engage with this article.

1. Like a class curriculum, each topic is part of a larger unit that dives into a distinct subject. Think of it like a vinyl record, each topic can be enjoyed as a track or fully experienced like an album. Subscribe to get them weekly in your inbox!

2. No knowledge gatekeeping here! We’re neophytes ourselves, presenting our laywomen’s research from topics that make us curious. If you see a bolded term, it is defined in the glossary at the end of this article.

3. Look out for underlined passages, these are your portal down the knowledge rabbit hole and lead to further reading. Insatiable? Original sources are merchandised on our interactive reference page at the end.

4. This is a *reciprocal* experience! We invite you to contemplate the discussion questions at the back. Or even cooler, forward the topic to a friend, colleague, or your crush and start a meaningful conversation.

Curiously,

Ambi & Abbey

Way before exchanges were made with printed bills or digital stock tickers, exchanges were often for greater means of survival. I give you two cows if you give me a portion of your potato crop; I give you some metals so you give me some spices type beat. More on the history of currency and how we strayed away from it being tied to physical assets here.

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But one thing holds true between then and now: the future was still uncertain. Despite the means of understanding life being more limited in Ancient times, it was clear that there was an unpredictability about this whole human thing. Being alive came with an existentialism that needed to be quenched.

And so we looked up, and quite literally turned to the stars. Well before the advent of world maps, and definitely long before Co-Star, societies were navigating using maps of the constellations. They were also leaning on them for solace.

A brief astrological history

If your TikTok algo (or your last Hinge date) hasn’t yet introduced you to astrology, it is the belief system based on the idea that the positions of celestial bodies at the time of a person's birth or other significant events can influence their personality, behavior, and even their future.

Let’s take a look at how we got here….

The first humans to begin recognizing the movement of the planets and stars were the Sumerians in Mesopotamia, logging prominent constellations around 3000 BCE. This is when the Babylonians assumed the title of OG astronomers, creating the the first zodiac wheel.

Towards the end of the 5th century BCE, Babylonian astronomers divided the sky into 12 equal signs, each relating to a month of the year. They also assigned each of the 12 with a furry friend — an animal to represent the segment. Aaaaand this is how we got the name Zodiac — when the Greeks took a look at the system, they coined it the “zodiakos kyklos,” aka “animal circle.”

After the Greeks conquered Egypt around 330 BC, BCE-scholars established Horoscopic astrology, which combined Babylonian astrology with the Egyptian tradition of Decanic zodiac. Essentially it was an elixir of planetary Gods, sign rulership, and the four elements. (P.S. horoscope girlies — this is also around the time when sun, moon, and rising became more mainstream.)

Horoscopic astrology in its infancy was a tool to chart the celestial positions of the stars, sun, and moon at the time of a person's birth. These birth charts were employed to interpret an individual's personality traits and even their life path.

By the 1st century BCE, there were two widely adopted interpretations of astrology: the of reading horoscopes, which aimed to elaborate on past, present and future, and theurgic astrology, or “god-work,” which helped to describe the soul’s ascent to the stars and personal info.

During the 2nd century BCE, astrologer Claudius Ptolemy was the first to position a person’s birthplace and the stars — the first to develop the maps that we recognize today. He’s essentially the daddy of astrology.

From then on, astrology played a fundamental role in culture by the Middle Ages throughout the world. This began to fizzle a bit by the Age of Enlightenment, when the masses put science over theory in the collective spotlight…which basically leads us to today.

Looking for the light (within us)

A study in 2022 found that over 25% of people believe in it. That’s one in four people who turn to the stars to help explain everything from general mood to advice and even apartment color palettes.

“Studies also show that people often turn to astrology in response to stress and anxiety.” And there are a variety of (arguably anxiety-inducing) events that explain why we’ve seen a recent surge in the field — namely accessibility through social media, the pandemic, and the ever growing mental health crisis. Even though we’ve traded togas for Arcteryx, today’s generations are still looking for something to hold onto.

“Human beings constantly seek narratives to help weave their past, present, and future together through their goals and expectations — and that’s where astrology comes in.”

As younger generations in particular are more curious about themselves, having entered the world with the ability to explore at their fingertips, it only makes sense that this celestial exploration is one that can provide a sense of self-discovery.

This can be explained by the subjective validation theory, which in short, reflects the idea that individuals subjectively believe these statements are specifically tailored to them, even when they are not. “That’s so meeeeee XD,” ya know?

Does this not in some ways reflect how we as a society have internalized the subjective worth we assume we have through money’s presence or lack thereof in our lives?

Is it also not that far off that there was a point in time when we concerted our collective woes to a different but equally widely-accepted source of believed security?

Is significance alway starry-eyed?

Like we mentioned earlier, it is in our human nature to find narratives, BELIEFS, that help us wrap the story of our existence into a nice little bow.

This is especially true now that we are not fighting for survival, nor are we living in tune with the “natural systems” of the world.

Over the span of many centuries, early societies coexisted in sync with the cycles of nature, basing their hunting, gathering, and movements on the movements of the stars.

Our limbic systems are literally freaking the f*** out as they don’t know what to do with Casper mattresses and light after 6:00 PM…comforts that Ancient Egyptians could have never dreamed of.

But even without those comforts, they too needed a reason to live. Something that allowed them to make sense of what was being experienced. And as we look at that same phenomena today, have we just swapped this (ie. money) for that (ie. things like astrology)?

The more we dive in, the more we see that in fact, money might have more in common with astrology than we previously believed. In the next piece, we’ll explore how the two might share more similarities than differences — specifically how we all might just be professional wannabe future predictors rather than skilled finance bros or zodiac baddies.

1. How do predictions of fate, like astrology, change the decisions we make?

2. How do theories shape your identity?

3. What would society look like today if we were more in tune with the natural world, ie. seasons, food sources, etc?

4. What beliefs do you find yourself turning to in times of stress or hardship?

Beliefs: Beliefs are mental attitudes or convictions that an individual holds to be true about something, often without the need for empirical evidence or proof.

Claudius Ptolemy: Claudius Ptolemy, often simply referred to as Ptolemy, was a prominent ancient Greek astronomer, mathematician, and geographer who lived in the 2nd century AD. He is best known for his influential works in the fields of astronomy and geography, which had a lasting impact on the development of these sciences.

Decanic zodiac: The Decanic Zodiac, also known as the Decans or Decantes, is a subdivision of the zodiac signs in astrology. In this system, each zodiac sign is further divided into three equal parts. Each decan is associated with specific planetary rulerships and influences, adding layers of meaning to the zodiac sign it belongs to.

Existentialism: Existentialism is a philosophical movement and worldview that emerged in the 19th and 20th centuries, primarily in Europe. It focuses on the individual's experience of existence and the inherent challenges, choices, and responsibilities that come with being human.

Horoscopic astrology: Horoscopic astrology, often simply referred to as astrology, is a system of belief and practice that uses the positions and movements of celestial bodies such as the Sun, Moon, planets, and stars to gain insight into human personality, behavior, and destiny.

Limbic system: When referring to the limbic system in the context of the "ancient brain," we are highlighting its evolutionary significance as one of the older and more primitive parts of the brain. In the ancient brain context, the limbic system is primarily associated with fundamental survival functions and basic emotional responses.

Subjective validation theory: Subjective validation theory, also known as the "Forer effect" or the "Barnum effect," is a psychological phenomenon that refers to the tendency of individuals to accept vague, general, or highly personalized statements as accurate descriptions of themselves, even when the statements could apply to a wide range of people.

Zodiac wheel: The term "zodiac wheel" refers to a circular diagram or chart used in astrology to represent the positions of the zodiac signs and celestial bodies at a specific moment in time, particularly at the time of a person's birth. It is a fundamental tool in horoscopic astrology for creating birth charts and analyzing astrological influences.

Mystical History of Astrology: From Ancient Zodiac Maps To Modern Horoscopes

Share of people who believe in astrology in the United States as of April 2022

The 4,000 Year History of Horoscopes: How Astrology Has Been Shaped Throughout the Millennia

The New Age of Astrology

Where Do Zodiac Signs Come From? Here's the True History Behind Your Horoscope

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