Part 5: Performance or Manipulation: BE A GOOD PERSON

a case study in male tribalism

I have to be honest: I rarely, if ever, think about men’s fashion. To me, it’s always felt simple—utilitarian, even. Trite in comparison to the intricate social nuances of women’s attire.

But the day I attended my boyfriend Louie’s grad school reunion, I was exposed a different reality of men’s fashion—a tribal undercurrent influencing even the most trivial t-shirt choices.

This was the day that Louie chose to wear a graphic tee with the words “BE A GOOD PERSON” written in massive black letters across his chest. He owned the shirt in multiples, leftovers from some fundraiser an ex-girlfriend hosted in high school. To him, it was just “soft” (likely from 8 years of wear) and “went with everything” (white with black letters, sure).

Men, ranging from ripe college grads to 40-somethings reliving their glory days (“men” may be generous here) were dapping him up, head-nodding to his chest, and stopping him to say, “Yo, nice shirt.”

They were simple compliments, totally benign, warranting nothing more than a quick “thanks.” But in my head? They were a full on display of male tribalism. It was as if Louie was captain of the “good person” team and they all wanted to prove they were on it too. “Nice shirt,” tripped out of their mouths like an automatic salute. They had to acknowledge it—not because men enjoy complimenting other men, not because it was a noteworthy stylistic choice (sorry, Louie), but because it was a statement of allegiance that required response.

At the end of the day, men’s fashion may be trite. But it also may be more complex than we give it credit for: Guys aren't picking clothes, they're picking teams. Every graphic tee, every perfectly worn baseball cap, they’re all uniforms for their little tribes. Men may not be “trying” to make a fashion statement with their clothing choices. But—whether intentional or not—they’re making a mating call to the fellow bros, hoping for that sweet, sweet fist bump of belonging.

In graphic t-shirt we trust.